Winning at Work without Losing at Life | Sharing My Story on the One Life Podcast with Matt Farnham
Ever feel like you’re “doing all the right things” and still drifting from the life you actually want? Same. This conversation with Matt Farnham on the One Life Podcast lit a fire under me to share the practical framework I use to keep work, faith, and family aligned—without burning out.
TL;DR
Redefine the win. Your industry’s scoreboard (GCI, volume, awards) isn’t your life’s scoreboard.
Set loving boundaries. Hours, Sabbath, date nights, and seventh-week resets protect what matters most.
Presence ≠ proximity. Being there physically isn’t the same as being present.
Authenticity crushes imposter syndrome. Stop cosplaying someone else’s path.
Hierarchy of attention. God → spouse → kids → work. Order your best attention, not just your time.
Seasons of hustle are okay—just don’t make them your identity.
Why I Changed My Scoreboard
Early on, I realized that if I “won” in real estate but lost at home, I’d still lose. So I stopped letting the industry define success for me. Yes, I track profit—but I added two non-negotiable goals to my whiteboard:
Wife Goal: one day date + one night date every month
Family Goal: every 7th week off for full presence at home
Now every opportunity gets filtered through those commitments. If it lands on my seventh week off, I say no—even if it looks shiny.
“I don’t control the outcome—only the input. Be excellent with the inputs and trust God with the results.”
Presence Over Proximity
I’ve learned the hard way that sitting at the dinner table with my phone in my hand isn’t presence. It’s proximity. Presence looks like:
Single-tasking conversations (phone down, eyes up).
Pre-deciding response windows for clients.
Protecting rhythms (family worship, bedtime stories, unhurried meals).
Small disciplines create big peace.
The Myth of “More”
A top producer once told me: “I did 50 deals—this year I have to hit 70.” After we talked, she decided to intentionally do 30—so she could be at school pickup for the first time. That’s a win the awards banquet will never measure.
If your season requires extra hustle to pay the bills—hustle. Then reset your scoreboard so striving doesn’t become your identity.
Authenticity Ends Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome thrives when you’re pretending to be someone else. The cure is simple (not easy): be who God made you to be.
Not everyone is built for a 100-deal year.
Some are designed for 15 deals and legendary dinners at home.
Excellence ≠ excess.
“The world needs the real you, not the ideal you.”
Lead With Faith (and Love People Well)
Our team is openly, kindly faith-forward: we pray, we anchor decisions in Scripture, and we serve people before performance. That doesn’t mean we’re loud; it means we’re clear. Clarity attracts your people and frees you to lead with integrity.
When a fellow agent was working on her anniversary, we told our clients, “We’ll wait a day.” Deals matter. People matter more.
Fatherhood Changed My Leadership
Parenting reveals where my words and life don’t match. It’s sanctifying.
I’m biblically called to disciple my kids—so family worship and unrushed play are leadership reps, too.
We reframe work at home: “Daddy’s going to work because it blesses our family—and I can’t wait to be back.”
I want my children to see work as a gift, not a rival for my attention.
The Hierarchy of Attention (Try This)
Rate the quality of your attention (not just time) for each:
God
Spouse
Kids
Work
Where are you today (1–10)? What’s one step that moves each score up by one this week? Schedule it now.
Practical Plays You Can Steal This Week
1) Write Your Real Scoreboard
Profit target (clear & simple)
One concrete spouse goal
One concrete family goal
One boundary (office hours, Sunday off, or seventh-week reset)
2) Publish Your Hours (Lovingly)
Add email footer + template text:
“I’m in the office M–F 9–7 (Wed until 5 for date night), Sat by appointment, and offline Sundays unless we’re actively negotiating. This helps me show up at my best for you.”
3) Block “Presence Anchors”
Weekly date on the calendar
Two family meals you won’t miss
A daily phone-free window (ex: 5:30–7:30 p.m.)
4) Choose Aligned Lead Gen
Design your lead pillars around who you already are (referrals, community events, education). Alignment fuels consistency; consistency drives results.
5) Language that Frees You
“I don’t control outcomes. I steward inputs.”
“I’m saying no to this so I can say a better yes at home.”
“Excellence over excess.”
For My Fellow Believers
A verse I hold close: “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” (Psalm 127:1)
Prepare the horse for battle; trust God for the victory. Do the faithful work; release the scoreboard you can’t control.
Final Word
You don’t need permission from the industry to live a life you’re proud of. Redefine the win. Guard your rhythms. Be the real you. Build a business that blesses your family—not one that competes with it.
If this resonates, you’ll love my upcoming book The Balanced Breakthrough: Winning at Work Without Losing at Life. It gives you the full playbook to set your scoreboard, build an aligned lead-gen system, and keep what matters most in first place.
Question to reflect on:
If you “won” every award this year, but your spouse and kids felt unseen—would that be a win? If not, today’s a great day to change the score.
The Scoreboard Download: The Scoreboard Download helps you track what truly matters. Ditch the guesswork with a clear, weekly snapshot of your numbers—conversations, appointments, closings—and start seeing how small, consistent actions create predictable results. Success gets simple when you can see your progress.